Giving Thanks

Ok, I am going to try to make this one short, but since we all know how I can tend to babble, I can make no promises.  You see, on this day, I find I really do have a lot to be thankful for.  Looking back at the last six years, I could be in a completely different state of mind right now, so first and foremost I have to be thankful for where I am today.  A divorce and then a long battle with my finances could have put me on a path that was not very productive.  But luckily I had many people in my life who cared for me and helped me through some very hard times.

Unfortunately, when my life got bad, I did what way too many others have done, and I turned the whole mess inside.  Not just emotionally, but physically.  I started to drink.  And drink a lot.  Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not an alcoholic or a problem drinker, but as I look back I can see the potential was there.  In those moments, I could drink a bottle of vodka, or a couple of bottles of Merlot in just a couple of hours.  If I was meeting people out or just staying away from home, I would mostly drink beer, but then a whiskey side car was almost always present.  And the worst of it all, was that I would then get in my car and drive.

One of the lowest points come when I woke up in a parking lot not too far from where my apartment was with no idea how I got there or where I was.  My answer to this problem was to go home and drink the remnants of a bottle of orange vodka that was in the freezer.  When I woke up, it was light out and I was late for work.  I took a quick shower, but I’m sure I still smelled of a brewery and jumped in my little black pick-up and found another bottle od vodka with just a couple of swigs left, finished that, tossed the bottle in a dumpster and headed to work. 

As I came through the door of the office, I was instantly called into my bosses office.  Bob looked at me and shook his head.  “What the hell is wrong with you?”  he said.  “You can’t be coming in here like this, half in the bag.”  And me with all the smarts of some asshole who had been drinking all night answered back, “I don’t do anything halfway.  I’m all the way in that bag.”

It was shortly after that, when I found myself sitting in the office of our in-house hired shrink that I realized what a mess I had made of myself.  I would like to say that I instantly turned things around, but we all know that is not how these things work.  I had a bunch of people taking an interest in getting my life back together, and I guess that is what I am most thankful about.  There are way too many people in this world who find themselves in a similar situation, and don’t have the support of a strong network of friends and family like mine.  People who were not going to stand by and watch me ruin my life.

And then came along the final piece.  Maureen.  From the darkest of times, she came along to brighten back up my life.  Sure, it hasn’t been easy, but what relationship is.  If you are one of those who believe in faith, then you believe that all things happen for a reason.  And if the reason I went through those bad days was so that I could meet Maureen, then they were well worth the struggle.  So on this Thanksgiving Day, I just want to say I am so thankful that Maureen has come into my life, and that tomorrow I will be making her my wife.

Life really is good, and I have a lot to be thankful for.  And that includes our honeymoon in Ireland.

3 responses to “Giving Thanks

  1. Mazel tov. I wish for you a wonderful wedding day, and a new joyous life going forth!

  2. I’m trying to stop crying, dammit!

  3. It was a beautiful wedding and Maureen was beautiful. You made me cry with the song you sang for her and I promise that I will personally beat the tar out of you if the demon alcohol takes hold of you again.I love all of you too much for that. HAVE A WONDERFUL HONEYMOON. Love Mom

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